Three years ago I embarked on a journey. I did not know where it would take me or the duration of it…….but God did.
I took my first (and ultimately) last plunge into the ‘cold waters’ of the Christian dating scene by enrolling in a site called Christian Mingle. Once I found out that the waters weren’t too ‘frigid’ I also joined eHarmony, Match, and Christian Café.
Along the way I met some wonderful women who truly love the Lord and saw glimpses of what I was looking for in a soul mate. Some I even dated for a few months. But, ultimately not that ‘Proverbs 31’ woman who I could not live without.
This past Christmas Eve & Christmas morning, my children were enjoying spending the time with their mother. I thought I would enjoy some down time – I did – but ultimately realized that I was going to wake up alone for the first time in my life on Christmas morning. I laid prostrate on the floor pouring my heart out to God not for a Christmas miracle but for the miracle of a lifetime – a soulmate.
For New Year’s I posted this on my ‘Yahoo’ page “I’m excited at the possibilities that 2011 brings”. I decided to end my subscriptions to eHarmony, Match, and Christian Café, and the Lord directed me back to Christian Mingle. I put together a profile that culled from the others I created and wanted it to be an accurate reflection of not only who I am but ‘whose I am’. I used my best pictures and posted it. On the first day I had some fairly local contacts of interest, some in the state, and a few out of state.
There was on in particular out of state contact that I not only sent a smile to but a note as well. Her screen name was ‘Virtuous247365’, was close to my age, was open to God’s leading, and listed Thousand Foot Krutch as a music interest. I was truly excited and awaited her reply. She apologized for not being able to chat in the AM but we arranged a time in the evening using the IM feature on the website. It was an awesome conversation and we planned on continuing the next evening. At this point my interest in other contacts that I made faded away. During the second chat I asked if it was ok if we spoke by telephone – she was a little shy but agreed to do so as long as I didn’t keep her up too late. Well to say that it went well would be a gross understatement !
Over the course of the next week or so we would spend an average of 4 hours on the phone and found the more we shared, the more we had in common, and the more we truly liked each other. I made arrangements to fly down to meet her which we were both truly excited about. Then on January 27, 2011 at 7:07 PM I met………..the love of my life. One look in her eyes and I knew she loved me as well. I knew she had a heart of gold from our conversations over the phone but looking at her made me drop to my knees in thanks to Almighty God – for he blessed me with a Proverbs 31 woman.
It seemed as every minute of that weekend that time stood still…..from sharing meals to great conversation to meeting her family. Her daughter has that same heart, her parents were warm and friendly and her family was very joyous.
Saturday evening I made my spicy chicken and sautéed zucchini and onions (we cooked together) and shared some things from the depths of our souls. I look in her eyes, took a breath, said a prayer and utter these words ‘Valerie would you marry me’ – the answer was ‘I’d be proud to be your wife, Mrs. Horosz – yes, yes, yes !”. We thought about a couple of months out but wanted to honor the Lord by saving ourselves completely for each other We decided that since I was coming down to take Valerie out for Valentines Day that I come on Tuesday, apply for a marriage license, and get married on Friday, February 11th.
Most people would say ‘that’s pretty quick’ and the famous ‘you don’t really know each other you should wait’. I’m estimating that we probably spent about 80 or so hours on the phone and shared more during those calls than most couples do in months of dating. And all along we were both obedient to the Holy Spirit. God gave us multiple signs every day that this was from Him – at times they have been too numerous to count.
Our wedding day was a ‘Real Life Fairytale’ come true. My bride wore a truly beautiful black & white dress with a lovely corsage and a smile as wide as the sky and eyes that truly radiated God’s love. I wore a black suit with a white shirt & yellow tie adorned with a boutonniere to match her corsage. We rode first class to the clerk of courts office and a little after 11 AM on Friday February 11th I was married to the most beautiful woman in the world. We chose to have the clerk take a few pictures for keepsakes. While the clerk was printing them off, I knelt down in front of her and read 1 Corinthians 13 and in turn Valerie read Proverbs 31 to me. Others were looking but neither of us cared. We enjoyed a great lunch at Bucca di Beppo and had a truly had a weekend where time stood still.
Sunday evening we had dinner out at a fine Italian restaurant with a number of Valerie’s family including her parents. There was great food, a lot of laughter, truly warm smiles, and many best wishes. Her mother told me that what I have experienced from Valerie is how she is all the time – that I have only scratched the surface of her golden heart. I told her I will take exceptional care of my wife - the most precious gift I have ever been given from God. Valerie’s dad shook my hand and said ‘Welcome to the family’ – that was a priceless moment. My wife Valerie said it best ‘it’s not subtracting but adding to a already wonderful family’ as I’m looking forward to getting to know them all including her daughter Jessica as she is looking forward to getting to know mine as well.
We parted on Tuesday morning but will be reunited this coming weekend as she is visiting me in Ohio and getting to meet my children here in Columbus and mom in Pittsburgh. Relocation plans are underway.
This was written to give glory to Jesus Christ who is the solid bedrock of our marriage.
Secondarily I wanted to be a witness to all of my friends – to those who have ‘prayed without ceasing’ for me for a Godly spouse and for those of you still searching for one.
Valerie and I both experienced heartache, loss, and grief in our lives. We want this to be an encouragement that God does answer prayer (‘Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart Psalm 37:4) and that Jesus is still in business of exceeding expectations ("No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him” I Cor 2:9).
My wife Valerie said two very profound things to me this week. First was ‘I love you more today than yesterday and more tomorrow then today’. Second was ‘ If I had special ordered you from God he exceed what I asked for’. My reply to both was ditto.
One of our interests in Christian music. In closing I am posting a link to and the lyrics to a song by the group ‘Red’ that really capture the essence of our relationship – ‘The Best Is Yet To Come’ along with a couple of other meaningful songs.
“Afraid it won't come 'round again
Afraid to move on
Wishing I could go back when
Everything was easier and meaningful to me
... all we left behind
Like it's the answer
An hour glass we can rewind
Holding back the life that I've denied for so long
Can I find my way to you?
'Cause after all that we've been through
And after all we left in pieces
I still believe our lives have just begun
'Cause now the past can be our own
And I know you are the reason
I still believe the best is yet to come
A photograph still in your hands
Afraid to let go
The minutes rain like grains of sand
And time is just a war to steal your dreams from within
Come and take them back again
After all that we've been through
And after all we left in pieces
I still believe our lives have just begun
'Cause now the past can be our own
And I know you are the reason
I still believe the best is yet to come
Won't turn around
I'm never backing down
'Cause tomorrow's a new day
And everything can change
And after all that we've been through
And after all we left in pieces
I still believe our lives have just begun
'Cause now the past can be our own
And I know you are the reason
I still believe the best is yet to come
Still believe the best is yet to come
The best is yet to come
Still believe the best is yet to come’
'Inevitable' by Anberlin
'Real Life Fairytale' by Plumb
