It seems that
not quite six years ago I stood her thanking everyone for coming to remember
the life of a man we all knew and loved. Today, I would again like to say thank
you for coming and allowing me a few moments to celebrate the life of a woman
we all knew and loved.
I would like
to start out by thanking Hillsborough County Florida EMT’s and Paramedics in
your care and transport of mom to the hospital. Your sensitivity to her needs
went beyond your job description.
To Sun City
Center Florida Hospice: Mom was only with you for three days but your care for
her was extraordinary. You gave her exactly what she needed – care and comfort.
And you answered all of our questions
and gave us a sense of peace as well. Your genuine love for what you do goes
well beyond any job description. To say thank you seems so inadequate for what
your care of mom and comfort that you provided us.
We would not
have been able to go to Peter’s high school graduation in May this year without
my beautiful step daughter Jessica Bailey staying with mom. We were at great
ease knowing that she was well taken care of. Mom really enjoyed her time with
Jessica and early on thought Jessica was Valerie’s sister.
Mom’s next
door neighbor Patty Stover and her husband Mick really defined the word
‘neighbor’ as Jesus spoke of in the New Testament. Patty did mom’s hair and
brought meals on a regular basis. Her husband Mick did some repairs around the
house at no charge and picked up groceries for her. Thank you from the bottom
of our hearts.
Tom &
Karin Bolcshazy would visit mom several times a year and take her down to the
Waterfront for a great relaxing meal with some great conversation. Thank you so
much for your love for mom and spending time with her.
When dad
passed away in 2007, my mom’s sister and my Aunt Betty Kuhn came over to offer
mom her support , love, and brought over a meal. This meant a lot to mom as
well as our family and I want to pass on my sincere thanks to my Aunt Betty for
her gesture of love and support.
I would also
like to pass on my thank you to my cousins Bill Fustos and Ellen Dotts as my
Aunt Helen Fustos helped mom adjust to living life alone. Her getting mom to
attend a group of seniors to play cards and have meals gave her something to
look forward to. My family is so grateful for this and the many great memories
throughout the years with your family.
A heartfelt
thank you to all the members and ministers of the First Hungarian Reformed
Church of Homestead. You words and deeds of comfort during dad and now mom’s
passing will be treasured deeply by our family.
Lastly to all
of our family and friends who have been supporting us at this most difficult
time. It cannot be put into any words what all of your thoughts, support,
prayers, cards, and well wishes have meant to us. May our Lord Jesus bless each
and every one of you for your outpouring of love at this most difficult time in
our lives.
I would like
to remember mom four ways: her life growing up, her career, her life as a wife,
mother, grandmother, and mother in law, and lastly for her love of Jesus
Christ.
Mom had a good
experience growing up. Her father and mother, John & Mary Bolcshazy, both
emigrated from Hungary around the turn of the century. Mom was born October 19,
1924 and was the second youngest in a family of five (four sisters and one
brother). About her life growing up she talked of doing chores around the
house, walking to church from 8th Avenue in West Homestead, and of
being thrilled with getting an orange, crayons, and coloring book for.
Christmas.
My grandfather
was a hard worker at what we now know as USX or United States Steel Corporation.
He provided well for his family – I never heard mom complain about lack of want
during her years growing. Part of that time occurred during the great
depression that started in 1929 with the stock market crash. Her parents passed
on valuable life skills of making things last and spending your money wisely.
Mom had
excellent grades through her years in school and was valedictorian in 8th
grade. One grade that stands out (on more than one occasion) was “Conduct”. She
had straight “A’s” in every subject but in “Conduct” she got an “F”. Seemed
like this enjoyment of talking was passed on to her son and grandchildren as
well !
One story
that I found out from her lifelong friend Millie Veselany brought a real smile
to my face. Back in 10th grade, they both decided to skip school and
go to watch a movie at the Leona Theater. Well seems that they wouldn’t let
them in as they looked like they belonged in school. So they needed a place
then to hide out the rest of the school day and went to the basement of this
church. They both went home only to find out that the school called their
parents. The only word that comes to mind here is “ouch” !
Mom graduated
with honors from Homestead High School in 1942. As a graduation gift, her dad
gave her the choice of getting her teeth fixed or going to nursing school. That
was a ‘no brainer’ as they say – mom graduated with a R.N. from West Penn
Nursing School in November 1945.- And
what a nurse she was !
Her first job
came shortly after graduation at the prestigious Johns Hopkins University
Hospital in Baltimore, MD. Although her time there was short as she missed
Pittsburgh, she did get the opportunity to interact with someone you may have
heard of – Joe DiMaggio. Joe was recuperating from knee surgery. And he flirted
with her!
Allegheny
County Home Health nursing came next in her career path. She worked there for a
few years and then went to the American Red Cross in Pittsburgh. Mom really
found a niche there as she taught well baby care classes there for 7 years
during the 1950’s. The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette did a feature article on her and
how she was now “practicing what she preached” with her newborn son William F.
Horosz Jr. – and yes there was a picture.
But her
greatest accomplishment with the American Red Cross did not occur in
Pittsburgh. It was in Camp Kilmer in New Jersey. The year was 1956 and the
Hungarian Revolution was in full swing. Many were fleeing the country as Russia
was invading and stepping over anyone who opposed them. The American Red Cross
put out a call for a nurse who could speak, read, and write in Hungarian. Enter
mom. A newlywed of two years, she answered her country’s call to help those
refugees entering the United States. She received the highest award that the
American Red Cross could give for her service. Mom was indeed proud of this –
being able to help refugees from the country that her parents were born in.
Homestead
Hospital was her next employer and not too long after that Willis Center.
Working with most of the doctors at the hospital had a benefit that dad, mom,
and I thoroughly enjoyed. A few of the doctors had to work weekends at the
hospital and had season tickets to Steelers games – which they graciously gave
to mom for us to enjoy. This just so happened to be at a time when the likes of
Bradshaw, Harris, Swann, Greene, and Lambert to name a few were playing. And
these weren’t any old seats – about 10 rows up in the upper deck on the forty
yard line !
Mom worked
the 3:00 PM to 11:00 PM shift at Willis Center and one evening called us up to
come to see her. We got to her floor and I had the opportunity to meet Vernon
Law – Pittsburgh Pirates great. I was star struck and did manage to mumble a few
words and get his autograph. What a treat that was !
Mom loved all
Pittsburgh sports but her favorite was baseball. So much so that we had weekend
Pittsburgh Pirates season tickets for several years. Before we would even get
to our seats, mom had to have her hot dog with relish and mustard on it. And
she really liked Richie Hebner ! I will never forget taking her to Game 4 of
the 1979 World Series – our seats were in peanut heaven and she did not like
heights. But you could hear her cheering on our Pirates. And every time we went
to a sporting event after that she would always tell us “bring home a winner” !
About this
time, through a friend. Mom heard about a job opportunity to work as a
“Industrial Health Nurse” at Mesta Machine Company. This was a job that
provided her with not only her greatest challenge but best rewards. She had to
learn how to give x rays, do physicals, blood work, EKG’s, and drive the
“emergency golf cart” to reach accident victims in the plant. Mom quickly
became a plant favorite. A number of her co-workers came to our house to assist
with some major and minor repairs at a greatly reduced rate. Her bosses son had
a job that I coveted – he was statistician for the Pittsburgh Penguins – truly
how cool would that be !
Mom worked at
Mesta Machine until they closed. Through a former co-working nurse at Mesta she
found part time employment at USX headquarters in downtown Pittsburgh. When mom
would be scheduled to work she took the bus into downtown and back home again..
Dad would pick her up by Park Elementary school and their dog Haddie would be
wagging her tail in the car waiting for her. Hard to say when she “officially
retired’ but she held her nurse’s license until she was 74 years old. Mom
always remarked that if she passed away at work it would be while doing what
she loved.
Sometime
during the late 1930’s early 1940’s the church youth went out to sing Christmas
Carols to shut ins. Several people drove and mom remember sitting next to this
very handsome man with dark black hair from church. Fast forward to 1954. A
trip after church was organized to visit Bethlan Home in Ligonier, PA. As the
“story” goes dad was standing at the top of the church steps and asked mom if
she wanted to go. She said yes and that her sister and brother in law would be
driving. Dad went with them and my young cousin asked my dad if he was going to
marry her Aunt Ethel. Well in short order that did indeed take place. On August
11, 1954 Ethel Bolcshazy became Ethel Horosz.
If ever two
people were meant for each other, it was mom and dad. Their love for each other
was one of the most special things I had a front row seat to. And, oh yeah,
something else happened on July 16, 1958 – I was born. Both mom and dad poured
themselves into me. Early on I had a number of medical issues including asthma
and allergies. Pneumonia reared its ugly head not once but twice while I was
growing up. I will never forget both times that mom slept in a chair next to my
bedside – what comfort that brought me. She was always there taking me back and
forth to the doctors and made sure that I got the best care possible.
Growing up
with both of my parents gave me a strong work ethic that I hold to this day.
Mom expected me to pitch in and help clean the house each week, do morning dishes,
heat up left overs before they got home, do the evening dishes, take the
garbage out, make dinner from scratch on Fridays and find time to do homework. Then
I was free to do whatever I wanted to !
Mom and dad
loved hosting dinners. It was a lot of work but also a lot of fun. She would
work hours on getting appetizers ready, the main dish, salad, vegetables and
dessert. Some of her classic foods that she enjoyed preparing were her lasagna
(yes grandma made it before grandpa), stuffed cabbage, roasts, ham, turkey, and
baking nut rolls and apricot cookies. If you left the house hungry it wasn’t
her fault. And all while being a great hostess she still was working.
Summers were
so much fun while growing up. My Aunt Mary & Aunt Julie’s families would
come from out of state and we would have a family get together in Aunt Betty
and our backyards. Loads of great food, lots of laughs, horseshoes for dad and
my uncles, and more than likely a trip to Kennywood as well. To say that is was
fun was an understatement !
Holidays were
fun as well and I have fond memories of spending time with my dad’s sister and
my Aunt Helen Fustos, Uncle Smokey, and my cousins Ellen and Bill. My children
recall those times as well and were treated to some of the best food in the
world prepared by my Aunt Helen !
There were
three days that changed mom and dad’s life in one of the best way’s possible
forever. March 10, 1984, November 14, 1987, and July 24, 1994. Mom and dad
became grandparents to Will, Victoria, and Peter Horosz. Mom was addicted to
only one thing her entire life – being a grandmother. She would tell friends
and family ‘we are going to Columbus so I can get my fix of my grandchildren.”
It could be
construed as the most classic understatement of all time that mom and dad enjoyed
being grandparents. I once told mom a few years ago that I loved growing up as
her son but really wish I was her grandchild as well lol ! There wasn’t
anything that mom and dad would not do or get for the kids. My words pale in
comparison to what my daughter Victoria wrote about remembering grandma for her
and Will and Peter. The best thing that mom and dad gave them was un-conditional
love.
Mom enjoyed
being a mother in law to Nancy and Valerie. Nancy gave her three of the
greatest joys of her life in being the mother of Will, Victoria, and Peter. She
never stopped loving her and was deeply touched by Nancy being there for her
when my dad passed away. This past year mom got to know and love Valerie. It
was a blessing beyond words to see how Valerie loved on mom getting her lunch,
taking her to the doctors, getting her hair done and interacting with her. I am
convinced beyond the shadow of a doubt that mom went to heaven knowing that I
was in the best hands and heart on this earth – my beloved wife Valerie.
Jesus Christ
was first and foremost in mom’s life. Mom told me while she was growing up that
she and her family attended church “every time the doors were open”. And it
wasn’t a short walk from 8th Avenue in West Homestead to the church
in Munhall. At an early age she “encouraged” me to attend and participate in
Sunday School. Some of the summers when our church did not have VBS mom took me
to Homestead Presbyterian. It was important for her that I get a good
foundation in the Lord.
As church
attendance had grown smaller, mom was needed to serve her church on the
consistory committee. She attended and participated in the meetings on a
regular basis until her health prevented her from attending church. During this
time mom stopped driving and I would like to add my thanks to those who
provided transportation to get mom to and from church and help her grocery
shopping on a regular basis.
Whenever we
would visit mom and say good night before going to bed she would be doing her
‘Bible Study’. She enjoyed reading “Our Daily Bread” devotionals, my Old &
New Testament books from Bible class at Geneva, “Purpose Driven Life” by Rick
Warren, and several devotionals by Max Lucado along with several Bibles. God’s
word was so important to her.
During 2007
and 2008 mom and I went through several life changing events including dad’s
passing in November that year. Through another one of these events I had lost a
great deal of support and people who believed in me. But mom was there for me
like never before in my life. She reaffirmed her love for me and stood by my
side. Mom told me her famous phrase “give it over to God and our Lord Jesus
Christ”. Her being a prayer warrior for me was never more evident. And because
of those prayers I stand her before you as a person who is bearing good fruit
and is truly free in Jesus Christ. “Who the Son sets free is free indeed” !
Amen !
Since 2005
unfortunately mom became a ‘frequent guest’ of UPMC in Pittsburgh on several
occasions. In late April 2012, the hospital called to inform me that mom was
admitted for ‘inner ear / balance’ issues. The doctor informed me that she
could no longer live alone. Valerie and I made the decision to have mom move
down with us. Mid May 2012 we travelled by train from Pittsburgh to
Philadelphia and then to Orlando. Mom quickly adapted to our house as we got
her a nice new bed and chair to relax in during the day. She had ‘CNN’ on
during the day and kept a lot of the routine that she had in Pittsburgh
including her glass of ‘port wine’.
She was in
very good health until August 3 of this year. On Sunday August 4th
she had emergency surgery to repair a hole in her stomach. Thursday that week I
called Victoria and put her on speaker phone to talk to mom. We were encouraged
until Friday when mom was on a CPAP machine. Valerie and I rode the “roller
coaster” until mom was taken from the skilled care facility to the hospital on
August 29th. After all the test results the doctor informed me that
mom’s best option was hospice. She arrived there on Thursday evening.
The nurse
that we talked to, after seeing mom, estimated that we had a ‘week or weeks’.
When we went down on Friday another nurse noted a remarkable decline in mom’s
condition and then told us ‘day or days’. Valerie and I told mom to ‘hang in
there’ and that ‘Will, Victoria, and Peter’ were coming down on Saturday night.
We told the nurse that my kids were coming down from Ohio Saturday evening and
she said that was good and didn’t expect anything until early next week.
Saturday I received a phone call that mom passed at 1:23 PM and had to make the
most difficult call in my life to tell my kids that grandma is in heaven.
We had so
many people praying that mom would hang on until the kids would make it down.
Thought that would not be a problem. Victoria asked me why she didn’t hang on
with so many people praying for the kids to get one last time with their
grandmother. I told her I can’t answer that question but what I can say is that
the pull of heaven was greater than the pull of earth. I also reminded her that
the last time they visited grandma was in December and that they so enjoyed
seeing and interacting with her. When the kids arrived Saturday evening we went
to see mom who looked so peaceful. I played a few songs from my iPhone, read
some scripture, cried, and hugged a lot. The nurses remarked what a special
time that was.
Sunday
evening Will, Victoria, Peter, Valerie and I celebrated mom’s life at
Maggiano’s Restaurant in Tampa. It was a unrushed time of loads of great food,
good drinks, and uplifting conversation and humorous anecdotes about a woman we
all knew and loved.
To sum up
mom’s life in one word is easy – love. I had 1st Corinthians 13 read
today because that was the real testimony and eulogy to mom. Mom never knew how
to or hated anyone – I received the sharpest reprimand from her, even as an
adult, for using that word. The only thing we should hate is sin – period.
Philippians
4:7 (NIV) “7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will
guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Here are some
words form a song called ‘Peace That Passes Understanding ”by Wayne Watson that have brought me great comfort during
this time:
“Seasons of
my soul they come and go
But as they
slip away I know
Something
else remains that will not change
Places in my
heart are torn apart
But in my
brokedness I find
Something
stays behind that will not change
Chorus:
The peace
that passes understanding
Is a blessing
that will never fade away
The peace
that passes understanding
Is here to
stay
The peace
that passes understanding
Never passes
away
Lord in times
alone my heart has known
The quiet
words of your tender love
And your
gentle touch that changes me
Even through
the storm I'm safe and I'm warm
For you have
covered me with grace
In your
hiding place I am at peace
Peace comes
like the dawn
Peace like
the world can't understand
You take my
hand and I stand
Though others
may fall”
I will close
with 1 Corinthians 13:13 and 1 Corinthians 15:55-57 (NIV)
“13 And now
these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love”
“55 “Where, O
death, is your victory?
Where, O death, is your sting?”
56 The sting
of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. 57 But thanks be to God! He
gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.”
Mom would
close conversations on the phone or when saying good night say ‘love you love
you !” It just so happened that the last words mom spoke to me on Friday night,
when she could barely talk were the words “love you!”
At 1:23 PM on
August 31, 2013 mom got to experience 1 Corinthians 13:12 as see saw Jesus and
how all the puzzles pieces of her life fit together:
“12 For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but
then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am
known.” (NKJV)
Mom, like
dad, you are “Home Free”
Love you !
Love you !
